A Chapter Closed
by Macx
Summary: part of the Balance series. Satoshi has to come to terms with a part of his past, face it together with Krad on his own, and continue into the future. See disclaimer for warnings etc.


TITLE: A Chapter Closed 

AUTHOR: Macx 

DISCLAIMER: not mine. Definitely not! I just play with them and hope I tread on no one's toes. 

Author's Voice of Warning (aka Author's Note):   
English is not my first language; it's German. This is the best I can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize g> The spell-checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are..... 

ARCHIVE: yes 

WARNINGS: none 

TYPE: yaoi 

RATING: PG-13 

PAIRING: Daisuke/Satoshi, Dark/Krad 

FEEDBACK: empty inbox seeks emails g>   
  


Satoshi stood in front of the huge, two-storey building, looking at the massive walls with apprehension and slight sadness. He had spent a good part of his childhood here. He had actually lived here like a child – until it had been determined that he had indeed inherited the Hikari curse. Walking up the stone steps, he took out the main key and opened the door, pushing it wide to let the sunlight filter into the dark entrance hall. 

Everything was quiet. 

And mostly empty. 

A few pictures still hung at the walls. A few pieces of furniture still waited to be removed, but Satoshi had no intention to do so. Little in here held much interest to him. 

His steps echoed almost dully in the hall and his eyes swept up the staircase, his feet taking him there almost without thought. 

Up here, his room had been. Satoshi stopped in front of the door, his hand already reaching out for it, but then he stopped. 

He had been a child until he had turned four. He had lived this life until his fourth birthday. Not much later, his mother had died. Not much after that, when Satoshi had shown his first artistic talent, had his stepfather changed. 

The Hikari art had changed him. 

His hand balled into a fist and fell away. Behind that door was his past and he was afraid to face it. 

_Stupid_, he thought to himself. _Stupid and childish._

--Satoshi?-- 

The soft, velvety voice startled him and he flinched away from the door as if it had spoken. For a moment he had been completely unawares of his other half. of the demon within him. 

The warmth that represented Krad moved a little, coming closer, worried. 

--Satoshi?-- 

--I'm fine-- he murmured. 

--Liar-- Krad replied gently. 

The young man smiled dimly. --Just... memories-- 

--I know what they can be like-- 

Oh yes, Krad knew. His own past was more than jaded, more than horrifying, and Satoshi had shared those memories. They were painful and couldn't compare to what he felt. 

--It's just... I don't know why I'm here at all-- 

He had removed whatever had seemed important. The books, the computer with all its files, the art collected by his family. Nothing in here held any value. 

--Maybe because it's your last chance?-- Krad asked. 

Yes, maybe. 

He reached out for the door again and finally opened it. The room behind it wasn't special in size or appearance. It was large enough for a child to play and sleep in. There was a huge window with sliding doors to right that had been secured to keep little Satoshi from accidentally opening them, falling off the balcony. By the age of three he had known how to break that security lock. 

Satoshi stepped into the room where he had only good memories in, except for the day he had been told his mother had died. He inhaled deeply, still remembering the solemn faces, the grief in his stepfather's eyes, and his own confusion. 

She had left them. 

She had died. 

And everything had changed. 

At the time, Satoshi hadn't been aware of Krad, but the demon had been there. Unlike Dark, who had been triggered by hormones and growth, Krad had always been around. Never sleeping. Waiting. 

For him. 

Something prickled at his senses and part of him was aware that Krad had separated, another was too caught up in his old memories. 

Playing with his mother. Laughing. Being young and careless, despite his genius talents, his intelligence. His mother had wanted to treasure his innocence and childhood because she had known of his heritage. In Kei she had found a man who had loved her, who had loved her son, despite the age difference between them. 

The Hikari art had changed it all. 

Their talent, their curse. 

Satoshi inhaled sharply, all those unwanted times suddenly coming back. It was what he had been afraid of, why he had refused to come back here, be here, live here. It was why he had finally decided to sell the mansion. 

Still... he had come. 

Like a last good-bye. 

Someone touched him and while Satoshi had been aware of Krad behind him, the touch startled him a little. He looked at his demon, whose golden eyes in that handsome face reflected nothing but understanding and shared grief. Krad had been part of his past, had seen and heard it all. At the time he hadn't cared. He definitely hadn't cared the moment he had struck a deal with Kei over the possession of Satoshi. 

Arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him against the solid, slender form behind him. Satoshi didn't fight. He let himself sink against the support, felt Krad's head rest against his shoulder. 

„I should have sold it sooner," he whispered. 

„It's your home." 

„It was my home for four years. After that, it was a nightmare." 

Krad's embrace tightened. „I'm sorry." 

He smiled dimly and rested his hands on the folded ones of the demon. „There's nothing to apologize for. We were all puppets in this game. Ultimately, we were all under the influence of the art my ancestors created." 

„You were a child," Krad whispered into his ear. „They had no right... I had no right..." 

„You didn't know any better, Krad. I know that now. I don't hate you for it." 

Satoshi looked out the window, down into the garden that really needed tending. No one had done anything with it in the last seven years. He couldn't care less. 

Krad released him of the embrace and Satoshi missed it immediately. He had come to rely on the silent strength and warmth of the entity bound to his blood and soul. He had hated him as a child, had tried to get rid of him, would have done everything... and nearly had... but now... He turned and looked at the tall form, took in the blond, pony-tailed hair, the strange, golden eyes... Krad. His curse, his demon. They had come a long way. A very long way. 

„I can't even hate him," he now murmured. „It wasn't his fault. No one carries the blame." He sighed deeply. „He loved me, Krad. He loved my mother. But he changed so much... and I couldn't do anything." 

Krad approached him again, drawn to his host's pain. He touched his face, cupped his jaw, made him look into the alien eyes. 

„Don't do this to yourself, Sato," he murmured. „Don't hang on to it. It will only hurt your soul." 

Satoshi inhaled shakily. „I know," he answered. „I just... had to be here again." 

Krad rested his forehead against Satoshi's and suddenly the young man found himself enfolded in a pair of white wings, enveloping him in a cocoon of warmth and safety. He laughed a little, wrapping his arms around the demon, hugging him tightly. 

„Thank you for being here, Krad." 

„I'll always be there," was the gentle reply. 

Yes, he would. It was the one constant in his life. Like Daisuke. He needed them both and he relied on them both. 

Krad caressed his back in a soothing pattern and Satoshi felt himself relax. Krad's body warmth seeped into him and he closed his eyes, sinking into that comfort, letting it wipe away the pain. To others this would look like lovers, like an intimacy only shared with that one person, but it was something completely else. Krad, like Dark, relied very much on the human soul he was bound to, even on physical contact. He needed the warmth, the affection, the very presence. To compare it to a sexual act would be crude because there was no definition for it. It was simply their way of being close. 

„We should go," Satoshi murmured against the white-clad shoulder. „I have what I needed from here. Everything else is... history." 

The caresses never faltered, but Satoshi finally detached himself, trying to pull himself together. He hated his past, but part of it he loved, too. Part of it had been happy. 

White feathers trailed over his body as large wings opened and he exhaled softly. 

The house would be sold by the end of the week. 

Not a minute too soon. 

########################### 

They left together, Krad still outside his body – without the wings – and Satoshi locked the door. He cast a last look at the silent house, then turned and walked down the street, Krad in tow. He had slipped on a pair of sun-glasses on, hiding his different eyes. While he could change his eye color, he was most content with what he was used to. 

Satoshi smiled a little. 

They turned a corner and left the street, mutually silent, their steps taking them to the near-by river. 

„I'm glad you're here," Satoshi said softly, repeating what was on his mind. 

Daisuke would have come with him if he had had time. But his lover was away for a week and the sale had been pressing on his mind. 

„And I'm glad this is finally over." 

„We both are." 

He looked at his companion, noticing the fine, humorless smile. Krad had spent a lot of time in that house, too. Always looking through his eyes. 

„Did you know my mother?" 

„No. Not that I can remember anyway. I only met Kei. And you. All the other time I was... not really aware." 

Satoshi nodded thoughtfully. He knew all of Krad's history with his family. It was ugly, it was horrific, and sometimes he wished he could erase it all. That the demon had come out as intact as he was now was a small miracle. That he was able to feel again was something he wouldn't have expected to happen. 

„I remember next to nothing about her. Sometimes a smell or a touch. That's it." 

„Do you miss her?" 

„It's not like I can remember much about her, Krad. Maybe I miss her, but it's not like the feeling of missing Daisuke... or you." 

Krad looked at him, slightly stunned, then smiled. They continued their walk, enjoying the day, though it was still cold. Spring had yet to break through and while the snow was gone, it didn't mean there wouldn't be more snowstorms or snowfalls. Everything was possible. Finally Satoshi headed for the train station. 

„Let's go home," he decided. 

Krad merged smoothly with him, a soft, gentle breeze against his mind. 

############################# 

The train ride way uneventful and Satoshi passed the time stating out of the window while Krad kept to himself. Now and then the demon would look at him as if checking whether or not he was okay, and Satoshi smiled a little. It was such a change from before. Krad was a mother hen if he wanted to and he showed it every time Satoshi was having troubles of some sort, especially of the emotional kind. Lately there had been a few, but this had been the worst upset in the past months. 

Leaving the train station after arrival, Satoshi remained where he was, just looking at the bustle of people everywhere, then his eyes fell on a particular shop just across the traffic heavy road. 

--Sato?-- Krad queried, slightly mystified. 

--There's one more thing to do-- he murmured. 

Krad tilted his head, quizzical, but Satoshi didn't elaborate. He just crossed the street and walked into the shop. 

############################ 

When Daisuke came home three days later, radiating the same barely contained energy and life as he always did, Satoshi knew the moment his lover saw the changes. Daisuke's eyes widened and his mouth opened, then snapped shut again. 

"Sato?" he stuttered. 

Satoshi grinned. "Yep, still me. Don't tell me it's that bad…" 

Daisuke dumped his backpack in the hallway and approached, almost carefully, Satoshi mused, chuckling a little. 

"What happened?" Daisuke asked, stunned, reaching out to touch the light brown hair of the other man. 

Gentle fingers ran through the still longish strands, but the long hair of before was gone. In its place was a barely shoulder-length look with a tousled, longish fringe that hung into Satoshi's eyes now and then. He could still swipe it all back into a pony tail, but that no longer even touched his shoulders. It had felt strange at first, getting rid of the hair he had let grow ever since he had gotten rid of Krad. It had been like a new life, a new beginning. The old Satoshi, the child that had never laughed, had never lived, had only existed to serve a purpose, had been gone. In his place there had been the new Satoshi, the one who bore his birth name, who learned that there was life out there in the world. A life he was allowed to live. No restrictions. 

"Nothing happened, Dai," Satoshi answered, catching the exploring fingers and entwining them with his. "I just felt it was time for… a change." 

Brown eyes met blue ones and Daisuke suddenly smiled. "Yeah." 

He leaned forward and kissed his lover, gently coaxing him to open his mouth, to let him in. Satoshi was only happy to do so. Daisuke's hands were in his hair again, cupping his head, exploring the new length. 

"Needs some getting used to," Daisuke whispered, smiling. 

"Probably." 

They looked at each other and something told Satoshi that Daisuke had picked up on the meaning. 

_You know me too well, Dai-chan_, he thought affectionately. 

"Love you," Daisuke said softly, kissing him again, drawing him closer. He rested his head against Satoshi's. 

Satoshi was content to remain like this, close and held by his lover, holding him in turn. He cast a brief look into his mind, but Krad wasn't there. He and Dark were having their own talk and so he focused his attention on his lover. 

"Dai," he murmured, nibbling at one ear. 

"Hm?" 

"It's been a week." 

"Uh-huh." 

There was a glint in those lively eyes and Satoshi felt a thrill course through him. 

"We have some catching up to do," he whispered. 

"Right…" 

Now the glint grew seductive. 

"Lots of catching up…" Daisuke added, licking his lips. 

Satoshi smiled and pulled his lover toward the bedroom. Yes, a lot of catching up, a lot of 'getting to know you again'… a lot of everything. He wasn't even aware of the tingle of separation as Krad left him to spend some quality time with Dark.   



End file.
